OK - I work in the IT department, but that's a big fat joke, because I know very little technical stuff. Whenever people talk computers to me my eyes get big, and I just smile and nod.... This morning I log in here, and my whole domain is in ESPANOL... I know enough Spanish to be dangerous, but I have no clue as to how to reset my dashboard to English, so if I sound a little different, that's why... lookit ME all bilingual...
So, Cute New Guy is away on business... again... He left Saturday night, so I decided I'd have a couple of the girls over for a few glasses of wine and some snacks. As it happens, a few of them had to cancel, so I ended up having just two. Nauseatingly Blissful Married Girl, and my jaded but beautiful friend who is still stuck on the E-Melody marry-go-round... and no that's not a spelling error...
The conversation was interesting and very familiar at the same time.... of course both of them want the rundown on Cute New Guy, and whether or not we've seen each other naked.... I start telling them the story of things so far, and it's a surprisingly amusing collection of stuff including our first meeting, and what we've been up to. He's very witty, which makes the stories way better than they would be otherwise, even if I AM starting to sound like a 16 year old girl with a crush on the popular guy....
I conclude my portion of the evening's entertainment with the fact that we've exchanged some very personal deep dark secrets, and both of us have decided the other's baggage appears to be manageable and he's told me he's enjoying this time together. He says he isn't in a rush to the prize, so while things haven't been entirely worthy of an Amish courtship, we haven't yet done the deed. Things are progressing at a nice rate... not at warp speed, but not in Geological time either....
Can't you just hear the collective sigh from women around the planet?! It's refreshing to have a very attractive man who is CLEARLY interested, but is sure enough of himself to adjust timing to respect when the time is right for both of us, not just him. Smart move on his part... it just guarantees him a happy ending....
This leads to today's lesson.... Up until Saturday,Gorgeous Single Friend was seeing a guy for a short time. I think over the course of a couple of weeks.... She had been hooked up with him through E-Melody, and while the profile was mildly interesting, she wasn't immediately smitten. After going through the whole Must Have/ Can't Stand and stupid question maze, when they actually were able to write one another, she realized he was the friend of a friend, so agreed to go out with him despite her trepidation.
They went on an unremarkable first date where in the first 1.7 seconds there was no bolt of lightening, but it wasn't unpleasant enough to say no when he asked her out again.
The second date was ok, so she agreed to a third... but her gut was still telling her this was going nowhere.
Here's where the lesson comes in... Buddy invites her to come over to his place where he's going to cook her dinner. Keep in mind, this is date 3. Remember what the expectation generally is on date 3 on a dating website?? ... Ya, so anyway, when she arrives, they have a glass of wine, exchange pleasantries and have dinner. She tells us, that the moment she's finished, he comes over, pushes her plate aside and says "Do you want to go upstairs now?" in his best bedroom voice...
First of all, right after a large steak is probably not the right time... aren't you supposed to wait an hour after eating before.... Oh. Wait. Right.. that's swimming....but it's still EXERCISE.
Her outside voice answer was "No, I don't think so....but thanks for the offer..." while her inside voice is saying "Um... listen, Buddy, the steak wasn't THAT good!" So... the moral of that story is two fold... Guys, don't assume. What's that old saying? It makes an asshole out of YOU. Not every woman is jumping your bones on the third date... and ladies, if the guy you're dating asks you over for dinner, unless you're planning on getting busy, don't go to his house!
Gorgeous friend is a straight shooter, so I'm sure she extracated herself from the situation without any ambiguity about whether or not there would be a date 4, and to be blunt, she may be 110 pounds and 5 foot 2 but I'm not sure I'd bet against her in a fight if he were to try something. There is always some risk to being on his home turf though.
I really enjoy girls' nights because it's a great opportunity to realize no matter what crap is occurring in your life, someone has it better, and someone has it worse. Winding up the evening was actually pretty amusing. Here I am, telling Gorgeous friend not to give up hope... I can tell Married Friend is enjoying the fact that I have to eat my words about there being "nobody worth meeting on any dating site", especially since the night I had my "meeting" with Cute New Guy I was on the phone to her while I was driving there, telling her I was sure it was going to be a collosal waste of time. That was right before lightning struck in that 1.7 seconds after I saw him....
By the way, I DO get the whole irony of the above sentiment... after all I was on the dating site too.... and I consider MYSELF kinda date worthy....
Funny how roles change. There was a time when I was the married friend, and blissfully happy was single and looking for her now husband... I can remember telling her the right guy would come along for her too....
Gorgeous Single Friend is the one who was so busy dating all the matches she was being sent at E-Melody when I had reached the drought...She's now taking on the role I had a few weeks ago of the jaded cynic..... She's stuck on E-Melody until her birthday in July, but I might just buy her a membership to the OTHER site as her gift....
Trust me here, I'm under no illusion that I'm livin' that fairy tale dream and there won't be bumps in the road, but no matter how things end up with Cute New Guy, I'm grateful to know there actually ARE attractive men out there, you just have to kiss a few toads along the way..... but right now, I'm leaving that to Gorgeous Single Friend.
Later...
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