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Thursday, 30 June 2011

Blood Suckers

Last night Cute Guy and I headed back to the offleash dog park for a walk... it's a great place to go, and we really enjoy interacting with the dogs and their owners.  We're actually starting to recognize some of the regulars, and they are getting used to the two freaks who come down to the offleash without a dog of our own.... We didn't stay long, because the mosquitos were terrible...

During the course of our walk, CG was chatting about his daughter, and how he worries about her.  She's pretty, smart and funny, has good friends and seems to have a good head on her shoulders.  She's been through that heartbreak of her first love, and he worries about how she will handle the next guy in her life.  

I recommended he buy a fantastic book my mother gave me when I was about 38 or so, I'm guessing... too bad it wasn't written 20 years earlier.  The book is called "He's Just Not That Into You".  Even though the movie is supposedly based on the book, it was a pale imitation.  The book is actually the best self-help book I think I've ever seen...

This book should be REQUIRED READING for all 15 year old girls.  Then they should have to read it again annually for the next 70 years as a refresher.  Seriously.  If I'd had that book at 15 I would have wasted far less time analyzing my life and more time getting on with things.  The book is absolutely hilarious, and a quick read, but the lessons stick, and that's a good thing.

The sad thing is I read this book, took the messages to heart and STILL managed to compromise myself with the Bachelor, ignoring the red flags.  I have read the book twice now, and will be buying a spare copy to lend out to any of my girlfriends going through the whole internet dating thing.  The message in this book is basically how to know if a guy is really into you without doing that whole justification thing women go through about why some guy she's dating is treating her like shit.

Anyway, CG and I stopped at a bookstore on the way home from the dog park, and the book was on for some ridiculous sale price so he bought it for his daughter.   I'm wishing someone would write that same book from the other side.... maybe to explain to guys why the girl they've been casually slipping the trouser snake to is suddenly freaking out when she realizes he's using her....

During sex endorphens are released, and for women, signals a bonding reflex.  Men aren't held  hormonally hostage in the same way.  They're able to separate love and sex.
Nature's main focus is for species to propagate.  Instinct kicks in, whether we think we're way too sophisticated to be caught in that trap or not... think about it...Men have been genetically programed to spread their seed.  Women, once they've accepted that seed have to grow and nurture the little spawn for 9 months inside their bodies.  Because human babies take like 30 years to become self reliant, it makes sense that women would want to nest to ensure a guy is going to stick around before she gets knocked up, so she has help with the little DARLINGS...

That's why a F*ck-buddy relationship generally won't work out.  Women want to bond, and they want their partner to be exclusive with them.  A woman may have the best intention of not becoming emotionally involved with the guy she's banging, but it's difficult for her to do that. 

Guys, even if she TELLS you she isn't into anything but the sex, it's a blatant bunch of bullshit unless she's emotionally bonded to someone else, or she is incapable of bonding... I know psychopaths need love too, but even then you're running a risk.

And ladies, quit deluding yourselves into thinking sex doesn't matter and you won't bond with another asshole.... The key there, is don't SLEEP with an asshole in the firstplace and you're less likely to develop feelings for him.

I have to say, I'm trying to raise boys who aren't going to BE that guy, but I logged on this morning to finish this post, and noticed they left a site on that tells you exactly how to behave to get what you want... and how to find a "local wingman"... um, really?!  I sure am hoping that was a friend of theirs, and that I'm not actually going to have to release a public enemy warning about them....

Later....

1 comment:

  1. Lorelei Piotto30 June 2011 at 14:20

    Fantastic, Ellen. I agree -- it should be required reading for all young ladies, but I think we might need to start a little younger. Are you planning to write about the other book we love, or shall we leave that one alone? :)

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