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Thursday, 23 June 2011

49 ain't so bad....

So today's my 49th birthday, and beyond wondering where the Hell my life has gone, the day has been no big shake up for me.   I'm not sure whether 50 will be or not, but to date, the worst birthday I had was 40, just because I wasn't where I wanted to be in my life.... Oh.  Ya.  And because my friend dragged me to a party to be fixed up with some guy she thought I should like.  He was about 15 years older than me, all wrinkly and saggy and just generally not what I had in mind at all....

He had money, which was always her motivation and never mine.  She kept telling me what a great guy he was, and when I met him I was horrified.  The only great thing about him was his house and wallet.... We were way out in the country at his acreage, so most people had arranged to spend the night.  I pounded back a few cocktails in hopes he would grow on me.  I figured I was CLEARLY incapable of choosing someone for myself, and she had recommended him...

We were all standing chatting at his bar when he suddenly leaned over and kissed me.  Yuck... it was one of those terrible kisses that happen when you just know there's not a freaking chance in hell you would ever kiss him again let alone anything else.... ugh! 

I was having a conversation with Cute Guy last night about the fact that women will generally judge how a guy is in bed by how he kisses... Thankfully, he happens to be a very good kisser...

Anyhow... the moral of that story is, if you're planning on having a kiss lead to anything more, work on your technique, and for GOD'S SAKE man, keep a pack of gum or a breath mint handy...

So, back to my birthday... The past year has been full of losses for me, but the sun has finally come out, and so, it was a happy one despite that.... My oldest son was gracious enough to take me out for dinner with his best friend.  This is a kid who hangs around enough he's become a spare kid to me.  There are a couple of them who come over to drink beer and eat my food and about a third of the time sleep at the house.  I'm never sure who's going to be here on any given weekend morning, but it's all good, I'd rather have them at my place, that is, as long as they put their freaking dishes in the dishwasher....

Anyhow, we sat on a rooftop patio and had a nice meal and a glass of beer to toast the occasion.  We had a deep conversation about whether or not God exists... I say yes, my son says no, and the spare agrees with me.  By the way, in case there was any question, I'M right.

When I got home, second son was hinting he'd like me to pay his insurance... so I laughed very very hard... hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.... I guess he wasn't joking, and that just makes it all the more hilarious to me.

Logging into Facebook has been a blast all day.  The greetings have been great to get, but my favorite is a photo a friend posted of me, my high school boyfriend and one of my dearest girlfriends from a reunion we were all at in 1988.  My hair was so big back then, and so hair sprayed that it could cause contusions and abrasions if someone were standing beside me and I turned my head fast....

I loved that time in my life though.  I was living on my own, and had a crappy little one bedroom apartment I actually shared for three months with two guys who were working their way across the country.  One was from Australia and the other was from England, and before you get all excited about that THEY slept on a pull out couch in my living room, and I had the bedroom... and before you draw any conclusions from that, they weren't gay. 

We used to go out on the weekends, and they would be swarmed by girls because of their accents.. trust me, it wasn't their fantastic looks... so... my best friend and I adopted that as our modus operandi for quite a while after that.  We got really good at Australian, Texan and English accents, and that would be great until we'd had one too many cocktails... it was amazing how many drinks we had bought for us when you added the bullshit story we were from somewhere else!  Oh.  But I should point out, this ruse works a lot better if you actually look like you could possibly be from the place your accent of choice originates... I found my East Indian or Asian accents, while brilliant,  just didn't cut it in that circumstance.

I actually met a guy I dated for about a year one night at a party where I was from Adelaide until about 2:00 AM when I just couldn't do it any longer.

Anyhow, I shared the photo with my younger son... so his question to me "Mom, how old ARE you today?"   I said "49."... so he says, "That's so GROSS... a bunch of my friends think you're HOT."  After I finished laughing, he asked me if that was flattering... When I told him it was kinda flattering in a Mrs. Robinson sort of way, he kinda sneered at me... so I said "I'm sure you think some of THEIR moms are hot..."  To which he gave that perfect teenage boy answer of "Ya, but I sure as HELL don't want to talk about how hot MY MOM is..."

I'm thinking all he has to do is show them some of the photos from Facebook and they'd change their minds.... I guess I was just a very late bloomer...

Later...

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