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Wednesday, 18 May 2011

Was it something I said?....

Had an interesting talk with my new friend about his experiences with internet dating.  I always find it comforting to hear the common issues between men and women, and the stories that kind of point out the differences in the sexes....

He was telling me about the strangest encounter he's had to date... He was chatting with a woman online and things appeared to be going well, so they spoke over the phone... things went smoothly there, so they moved on to step 3, the dreaded meet and greet... They arranged to meet at a coffee place so he showed up on time, as is his habit.  She was late, so he decided after sitting there for about 15 minutes, to order himself a capuccino.   Just as he was taking his first sip, she walked in the door and came over to the table.  After the introductions are made, he asks what she'd like to have...at which point she burst into tears and tells him "I shouldn't be here!!", and literally runs out the door....  So there he is, sitting in a cafe with an audience of 15 other people... 

He seems to be pretty comfortable in his own skin, so I'm sure he handled it better than I would have, but all I could say was "Wow..."  I mean, I understand the internet is a fantastic place for people who have been out of the dating game to start getting their skills of innane bullshit conversation back... you know, the horrifyingly vanilla conversation you have when you are trying to get to know someone? 

"OMG!!  You like chocolate AND puppies?!... I can't believe we have so much in COMMON... I love them TOO!!!".... "What about flowers and rainbows?!?!"...

...but REALLY folks, if you're not ready to actually leave the house and interact with someone why agree to go....

A couple of years ago, during my first foray into this surreal world of the internet, I "met" a guy online who seemed great during the online chat portion of the dance, so I agreed to meet him... he steered the conversation so that I ended up having to drive all the way across town to meet him at a coffee shop near HIS house...which should have been a clue as to the kind of guy I was meeting.  The second he walked in, I could feel a totally negative vibe coming off him... and he explodes, immediately, into a scathing diatribe about how his ex wife completely burned him, took off with all the cash, and blindsided him by leaving, and poisoning his kid against him, but he got her back and now the son lives with him... at the age of 26... He took a breath at this point to ask me what I did for a living, and when I told him, he announced that I probably made way more than he did, AND I was cashing in on Child Support no doubt.... then back to HIS ex wife...she was the spawn of Satan, and he isn't sure he'll EVER trust another woman... 

He seriously went on for about 30 minutes of explatives and increasing volume as he spewed this vitriol toward the woman who bore him a child... I'm almost positive he sprouted horns and had red irises at this point, but I couldn't be sure, because I was doing everything I could not to make eye contact.. I was afraid if I did he'd go for my throat.... We had an audience of about 15 people as well, and my subconcious was telling me they were listening in...Yeesh.... 

I'm doing that whole "Oh - Wow... look at the time.... I have to .... um.... shave my cat... ya, that's it... sorry, gotta run..."

The best part?  When we left the shop, and I'm almost flat out SPRINTING to my car he says "so... are we going to see each other again?"... I said "I have to be honest... I don't think so."... thank GOD I was at the car, so could get in and lock the doors... I mean, seriously, he HAD to know I was sitting there trying to become invisible.  What did he expect? 

"Oh, YES I can't WAIT to see you again... just the mere CHANCE to be the next woman to be cherished by a manly man like you is more than enough incentive for me, what are you doing tomorrow?" 

I was half way convinced he was going to throw himself on the hood of my car or launch a boulder through the windshield....

So... today's musing?  I'm seriously thinking, if you have that little gut feel that perhaps you aren't ready to let go of your past, it might be a clue not to inflict your sorry ass on a new person.... I'm all about "getting out there", and sometimes you still have feelings for someone from your past, good or bad, but when you realize it's time to let go and move on, THAT'S when you should get out there and see where you go from here... Do the world at large a favor, and wait until you can at least PRETEND to be happy in public....

I notice E-melody has sent me another perfect match... haha... if he stands over 5 foot 4 and speaks English it'll be an improvement over the last few... At first they're sending you about 20 matches a day but the number dwindles as they run out of supply, so they start sending you "ideal matches" from further and further away, until you don't hear from them at all... then they start sending you notifications that "Sometimes love takes time..." and "Stick with it you loser shut in, you'll find someone eventually..." to entice you to pay their monthly fee.... I think if I counted on E-melody you'd find my mummified remains covered in spider webs sitting at the monitor waiting for them to find me a match with more in common with me than the fact that we stand upright and have opposable thumbs.... That is assuming, of course, the cats haven't eaten me first.



Later... 

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