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Tuesday, 3 May 2011

Rough weekend... facing reality sometimes isn't fun.

So I have come to the realization, the longest relationship I've had with a male who I didn't give birth to, or who isn't my brother, and who didn't sire me, has been ...with a cat.  Says a lot about me doesn't it? 

I fully admit the one common denominator in all my many screw ups, is... well.... ME, but still, many of my very screwed up friends...  sorry kids, but you are a rather motley crew, have found love that lasts, so why not me?!  Well, I guess I have in a way, and no, not in a sick porno way, but in a chaste sweet way....

My cat is the sweetest boy, and I have to say my world has been shaken because this weekend he became ill.  I have had him for 17 years, and can say that we have loved each other unconditionally for every day of those years... he is a sweetheart, and when my kids were being difficult, my boy was the best part of many of my days... he's been through my divorce with me, The unfortunate bathtub incident when my then 4 year old decided to use my 8 week old kitten as a bathtub toy, and it's only sheer luck that I rescued him when he was going down for the third time....He survived the teenage years with my kids, several moves, our adoption of a Great Dane and two other cats,  and the start, middle and end of my two subsequent relationships, and has done so with grace....

Anyhow, this weekend he had a great time visiting with me and several friends Friday night when I had a group of us over to cook freezer meals... we try to get together every couple of months to make 8 - 10 meals so when we're rushed we don't have to eat fast food.  Saturday I noticed he wasn't eating, and by Monday, things weren't good.... I took him in to the vet, had some blood work done, and $500 later, was handed a urine sample bottle filled with about a half cup of plastic litter...  Yes, 1/2 cup...I had to clean out his litter box, put the plastic litter in, have him pee, dump the pee in the cup along with whatever plastic litter came along with it, and take it back.  Well, "for better or for worse" I guess means you have to do things like that...

Anyway, the news isn't good, he has fatal kidney failure.  I was to take him in today to put him down, but when I got home, he seemed perkier, and even ate a little food without throwing up.  I just couldn't take him today when he's looking at me with love in his eyes, so he's been given a stay of execution for the night.  We'll reassess in the morning.  I just can't see taking him in when he's doing a little better... I know it's likely selfish of me, but the vet says he isn't in pain, and she doesn't think I'm being cruel.  She says she'd wait for a day when he isn't doing well if it was her too....

I know I'm supposed to be blogging about dating, and today I actually didn't do a date, date, but went with a friend to meet a single male friend of hers with her, for lunch.  She invited another guy along who is a married friend... it was fun to have conversation without the whole computer dating component.  Takes a lot of the "job interview" feel away.  Both of the guys were very nice, and of course I enjoy my girlfriend's company, so it was refreshing.  More "real" as it were....Not that the topic of weather didn't come up... it was raining as we left the restaurant, and my friend says "We need the rain, it's been so dry."  Poor thing... the rest of us jumped all over her since we just had a huge dump of spring snow about two weeks ago....Single-friend-guy actually used the word "sublimation" in a sentence relating to the snow and how the ground stays dry  It means converting a solid directly to gas... I'm thinking It's the perfect word for guys to use if you're discussing a night of too many beers and hot wings....

Married guy says to me... "It's not often you hear the word sublimation used in normal conversation".  He's right, but I certainly plan to throw it in to any casual conversations I have this afternoon...

So back to the surreal world of internet dating....Since gorgeous New York guy has now completely disappeared, I am going to conclude he isn't a real person.  I suspect he is a scammer, and he didn't like the idea of his being Googled....Sad, because he is just what I'd have been looking for.  What I may do though, is get my gorgeous friend to send a wink to see if he responds to her... 

That leads to today's way too obvious advice.... Guys and girls, if you are putting a profile on line, and you do give someone your real name, you might as well count on the fact you're gonna get Googled.... let's face it... if I'm going to meet you for a drink, and potentially date you, I want to know you aren't wanted in 3 states for armed robery or worse, murder, rape or child molesting.... You would advise your daughter to Google some guy she was going to go out with, wouldn't you? 

There are warnings plastered all over all the dating sites about acting in a responsible and safe way, because of all the scams out there... it's a perfect place for a con man... How can you be sure the photos are really the person you're conversing with?  I mean someone can tell you they're a hugely sucessful business person making 6 figures, and direct you to a company website with someone of the same name, and how would you know it's really who you're talking to?  At least Googling gives you a teeny chance the person is on the up and up....and so why would you expect any woman isn't going to do so? 

I would certainly expect any man who was going to date me to check my credentials...especially if he had children.  Of course with me, you'd find me on a photography website or two, and you'd find my totally locked down Facebook page, and one letter to the editor and that's about it.... nothing tawdry, I'm afraid, and that's what I'd want to find when checking out a guy.... don't hate me, I'm just not stupid, and I've been burned enough that I don't trust everyone anymore.... And if you see some sordid story about someone with my same name doing something unsavory... it wasn't me!

Later...

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