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Thursday, 19 May 2011

Bending the 3 date Rule....

So things have changed a bit at home for me... ok - remember how I told you I left the vet's office with a year old cat to bring home, and that I was going to stop by the Humane Society to potentially get another?  Well, I did... I now have two male cats...one is a year old, and the other is a year and a half... interesting to watch them figure out which of them is the dominant one... kinda reminds me of my sons.  One is a little older, but smaller, the other is bigger, and slower to attack... they walk around the house like petite lions...very wary of one another...and then one will POUNCE... this results in bloodcurdling screams and fur flying like a scene from Edward Scissorhands... Clumps of hair flying everywhere and they're literally going for the juggular...

I have since invested in a water bottle, so when they start that I spray them until they break it up.... I feel like a terrible mother, but the fur flying is slowly becoming less savage, ok, that's a complete load of crap, I get a perverse joy out of spraying them when they're acting like assholes.... I'm really hoping they'll eventually grow to like one another, but that remains to be seen....  This last couple of weeks has shown me that I'm going to have to find another career choice for my future... "Crazy Cat Lady" just might not pan out for me, because I'm finding the daily scooping of litter and moderating their disagreements is not as fun as it sounded in the brochure....  There goes my dream...

Last night I basically vegged, sort of absorbing the last couple of weeks... talked to a girlfriend about the fact that E-melody isn't working out for her... she went in with a very open mind, and decided to meet several of the guys they sent her.  These are very smart men in the book sense... one was a lawyer, one a dentist, but she is finding that ellusive "Spark" to be the dimension E-melody's phyche profile is missing... ugh!  Why isn't there a way to quantify that? 

It's not all based on looks either...We got into a discussion about the fact that physical attraction is a part of the package for sure... You don't go LOOKING for a guy with a third eye in the middle of his forehead for example, and despite all the assertions that "it's the INSIDE that counts", that's only true to a point.  While my "Dream Guy" has always been dark hair and blue eyes, the coloring my dad had, I've felt attraction over the years to  tall men, short men, dark haired men, blondes, one red head, skinny guys, husky guys... chemistry can happen with someone way outside what your "preferences" are.  I know things generally work out best when you come from similar backgrounds, but sometimes the person you do best with fills in your deficits as it were....  you need that common ground, but you also need to be strong where they're weak and vice versa... 

Bottom line here, if you have nothing in common and the guy or girl is HAWT you'll probably relax some of the "Must haves"... that doesn't seem to work as well conversely though... If the person you meet for that first coffee is totally your cup of tea ....except for that symbiotic twin growing out of the side of his head, it's gonna take a little longer to get over, and as I said before, for me if the connection isn't there in 17 seconds it isn't there ever....

Maybe we all have a skewed vision of our own attractiveness... I know my friends say I'm "attractive", at least I THINK that's what they said... it could have been "special" but I can't remember for sure... Before now I never had a hard time getting dates, but I have to keep in mind I've only had 3 relationships in the last 23 years,  one for 10 years, one for 7 and one for 3. 

Most men my age are looking for someone who belongs on the cover of Maxim magazine...No matter what THEY look like, and while I look pretty good in clothes, we've discussed my shortcomings before.  I completely acknowledge I have some attributes that are less than flawless, but there isn't much I can do...

Most of my male friends have told me not to worry about it, because once a guy has you naked he doesn't care anymore that you aren't perfect... is that simply because men will nail ANYTHING, or because they really see the woman they're with as beautiful... that is the question....

I suppose if you've taken time to get to that point, and the guy likes hanging out with you for the company and your sparkling wit then he may very well gloss over the flaws, like applying a "Doris Day Filter" to you... remember how they used to always have that misty filter over her face in the movies?  Someone could make BILLIONS if they could give women over 40 that look all the time.... 

Anyhow, I have decided the fact that I don't subscribe to the 3 date rule could actually work in my favor... guess we'll see....

Later....

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