Tuesday 26 April 2011

The long and SHORT of it...

E-Melody, you suck!

I have gone in and changed my preferences to indicate I want to limit my matches, and I use that term loosely, to within 50 km of the city.  What's with the guys from Montana and Alaska anyway?  I just don't think I want to start a relationship off being long distance...

So... the algorythm, lets just call it "AL" for short, screwed up again, and again.... yesterday, they sent me a guy who stands 5 foot 3.  YES I understand short people need love too, but there are lots of women who are within two inches of his height.  I am 5 foot 7, and wear heels most of the time, so we would look absolutely ridiculous.  He could be the kindest man in the world, but if his shoe size is smaller than mine or if he has to call me over to grab things on the high shelf or I have to pick him up to lift him down from the chair at the dining table it just isn't something I could find attractive.  I'm sure it wouldn't be any more comfortable for him.  I mean he would have to ask me to kneel or pull over a step stool to kiss me or tell me a secret.  UGH!

I was also sent a match who lives in some town in NSW... now correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't NSW short for New South Whales... AUSTRALIA?

Basically, "Al" has now screwed up so badly, that I have now joined... hmmm...let's just call it  "Lighter.com".... they have an offshoot which does a personality match but uses different questions than E-Melody.  They sent me 6 profiles to look at, with the option of saying whether or not they were people I might consider right away.  Their "Al" supposedly learns from your choices....

Because I paid for a 3 month subscription on the other site, we'll see whether one is better than the other, because I'm stuck with the first membership until my birthday in June. 

My gorgeous girlfriend... "GG" for short...you know the one who joined E-Melody too... came over for a glass of wine and a discussion of the matches she'd received.   She had some sage advice about red flags....

She says if a man shows up for a date and he isn't dressed for a date that's a red flag right there.  I have to admit, if a guy shows up in ratty jeans and an old sweater that isn't a turn on to me either.  When I have a date, even if it's a first meeting at a coffee shop, I at least try to make sure I'm wearing something I feel good in.  

Here are a couple tips on profile photos we agreed on over two glasses of Ravenswood Shiraz...mmmm.....

If you took your profile shot yourself, or you downloaded it from a computer camera, that indicates you have no friends!  I mean, seriously, have a buddy take a shot of you so you don't look like a shut in... and to the guy they sent me on Sunday... when you take a shot of yourself in your basement making a goofy face with your tongue out, it's even creepier... I mean, I'm sure you thought it would show your fun side, but when you take the shot yourself you just come across looking as though you belong in an asylum.

If the photo is more than three years old, it's time for a new shot.  Yes, we all want to remember our glory days, but posting a photo of yourself in that powder blue tux you wore to grad or your sister's wedding in the 80's isn't cool. 

Please don't use a photo of yourself you have to cut your ex out of unless you can do it so there isn't random hair beside you or a perfectly manicured hand resting on your shoulder out of context.  We all have a past, but you don't need to remind a prospective date before you even meet.

Listen.  I do portrait photography.... if you need a new shot done, just email me, and we can arrange to do that for you.  Just don't wear that old velour sweater and cargo shorts to have it taken, even if it WAS your get lucky sweater in the 80's.

Later...

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