My gorgeous, talented and amazing friend, the fabulous Miss "L", is one of those women you want to dislike because she is still breathtakingly beautiful at 49, has amazing fashion sense, a smile to kill for and is just the most gorgeous thing. The problem with disliking her is that she's just so....well.... loveable.
My favorite thing about her, is while she is stunning, she is also really, really smart. She will play up her beautiful, blonde, Barbie-doll looks and allow someone to assume she's not all that bright. She'll bait them for a bit ...and then SLAM. She'll latch on to something they said, and come back with a brilliant zinger. Oftentimes the receiving person has the most priceless stunned look because they just didn't see her coming.
"L" is a beautiful soul, but she recognizes that at our age, a little upkeep may be necessary to stay looking your best. At least if you weren't born with the wonderful genetics of Demi Moore, who...hahahahahaha... hasn't done "anything" to look so great... RIGHT!
At nearly 50, we commiserate over that 15 pounds that wants to creep on, muffin tops or backfat or how our skin has changed... We both work at trying to be the best 49 we can be, but the fact remains our best body days are behind us. I find talking with her about all of this is a relief because I think she's stunning... and she's facing the same crap as I am.
This being "middle aged" is a weird time for a woman... you slowly become invisible. That's changing with the women in the entertainment business... I mean, look at the women on shows like Desperate Housewives. They are changing the face of the middle aged woman... but how does the average person compete with that? Well, my friends, I'm going to tell you, without a personal trainer, make-up artist, cook and amazing plastic surgeon it ain't gonna be easy... I'm not gonna lie, I am NOT going to just lie down and let nature take its' course with my looks, but I want to age a la Helen Miren or Sophia Loren NOT like Joan Rivers.
I am happy with me, but I will do the little tweaks to keep myself looking as good as I possibly can. Miss "L" feels the same way. She is married to a great guy, has three beautiful kids. I'm single and dating, but our reasons are the same. It's not done to make some man feel better about us, we want to feel good about ourselves.
"L" and I try very hard to keep our weight reasonable, and we do what we can to maintain our look to be current but appropriate for a 50 year old who doesn't want to look matronly...
right now I am over my magical high weight limit, so I'm back on my annual diet. UGH! I love salad, but GOD giving up the wine and all the yummy croutons sucks. Frankly, though, to fit in my clothes without having to test the spandex stretch limit would feel fantastic. BTW - in my personal opinion, there should be a weight limit for wearing spandex leggings... if you're above a size 0 back away from the short shirts and leggings people... Oops, sorry, magpie moment there....
Another thing both "L" and I have discussed at length is the value of a good dermatologist..... We have both done a couple of little tweaks... my thing is Juviderm, she likes Botox... both are fairly non-invasive, but give us that little oomph we need to pass a mirror and not shudder at what we see...That is, if we've gotten our sleep the night before, and are having a good hair day.
Today's lesson is for people who love to be a little subversive....
Listen, if you're comfortable in your skin, that's all that matters, and I'll have your back. I'm completely onboard with you if you feel you don't need to do anything to maintain yourself and you're happy with how your body is dealing with middle age... seriously... but making snotty cracks about how "lucky" I am to be able to wear clothes in the size I do is not cool. I'm not "lucky". I have to work to keep myself within that 15 pound window. Trust me, if I were given the choice, I would be on a diet that consisted of Italian ciabatta bread with unsalted butter, full fat dairy products wine, beer and chocolate....
If you want to wear a smaller size, start by choosing to put less in your mouth. Don't be chowing down on sliders and sweet potato fries pretending they're a healthier choice, watching your skinny girlfriend eating a salad with dressing on the side, telling her she's "lucky". We all make choices.
Another little trick I've had played on me, is for a "friend" to disclose MY choices when someone compliments me to say I don't look my age. Why is it necessary to jump in and say... "Well, she's had EVERYTHING done." Really? WTF is that? I certainly have not had "everything" done, TRUST me. I still have to buy clothes with the boobs built in, and my freaking bra could hold up the titanic with all the buoyant padding I have to have to make me look female. The woman in question is more than 5 years younger and very attractive, but had a nose job years ago... how do you suppose she'd like it if I brought that up in casual conversation?
"Gee - you are so beautiful"
Her: "Thank-you!"
Me: "Ya - She's pretty now, but you should have seen her with the schnoz she had 10 YEARS ago...."
It's so great to have girlfriends. Some you need to give you a good ass kicking when you deserve it, and some to support you in a more nurturing way when you're licking your wounds. If you're as fortunate as I am, you have some girlfriends who are capable of both... You're old enough to jettison the "frenemies" who try to subtly sabotage your self esteem, and wise enough to differentiate between the diamonds and the turds.
Anyhow, my dear friend "L" and I will continue to support each other through this time of change in our bodies and skin... thank GOD. I only wish she lived closer so she could tell me if I start to sprout some whisker I can't see because my close up vision is going too... mind you, I still have that fantastic set of friends who will only allow me to have spinach in my teeth for a little while before telling me....
Later...
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