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Thursday, 11 August 2011

To Text or Not to Text....

You hear about relationships that have ended in hatred.  I'm glad to say I have rarely experienced a really bad ending to any of the relationships I've had.  There have been a couple of crappy breakups, but they're few and far between...

There’s no love between me and my ex -husband, and the last….ok…12.5 years of our 13 year marriage was effin’ horrible, but at least we can sit and have a meal together with our kids when something big goes on in their lives, or there’s something to be discussed….

I had him over for dinner the other night, because our oldest is leaving town tomorrow to move away for school.  We were cordial, I made something he liked to eat, and we had a glass of wine.  We have nothing in common but the boys anymore so we basically made small talk until he left early to go do... whatever it is he does in his private life.
When the kids get married, they’ll never have to worry about fist fighting between us or our dates… that’s just so freaking immature.  What the Hell is the point of carrying that crap around, especially when you’re a parent?  Let the shit go.  I mean, if you have to let go of your walker to take a swing at the woman who stole your husband 40 years ago, or the guy who treated your wife badly in her former marriage you might just want to address that.  There are classy ways to act after a break-up, and ways that aren’t so classy…

When you’re 15 acting like a prize ass is sort of expected… Thankfully, when I was in my teens and twenties they didn’t have things like Twitter and Facebook, so the worst you could expect beyond the regular gossip that ensued was to have something like “Merlot is a Bitch” scratched into a desk or the bathroom wall…
With the advent of social media, the whole world can be made privy to the inner workings of a failed relationship… Seriously, I’m glad we didn’t have that stuff when I was younger, because I would have been way too tempted to use it for evil… like when my boyfriend told me he wanted the weekend off, and then came back three days later engaged… that was a tough one on the ego, and I’d be missing out on a life-long friendship if I’d had the ability to post how hurt and disappointed I was…
I love shocking my kids with the horrible social vacuum I had to endure because we only had a single phone line in our house, and I wasn’t allowed to accept or make calls after 10 at night… we actually had to deal with a whopping 10 hours without knowing exactly what our friends were doing, until we saw them at school the following day… I KNOW crazy, right?
Even seasoned adults can show just how immature they can be, even in their mid 50's….  We’ve chatted about my lovely friend "C" before… she’s the beautiful, straight talking, petite Italian fireball who is looking for love on the internet… She’s only single and looking, because her husband of 26 years left her about three years ago.  While his decision devastated her, she has moved on with grace.
When they split up, they decided to keep “joint custody” of their two dogs, so things have remained relatively cordial between the two of them.  They talk about the dogs, he has called to get advice from her from time to time.  She spent a year having a nice home built for herself, and the day she took posession he asked her to "try again".  It was a little too late by then, because she'd moved on.  He's been living with a woman for the last several months, and “C” has been friendly with her as well.  She’s a class act.
The other day, she called me just incredulous.  “Jeez-US… you’re not going to believe the text message I got from “J”!  We spent 26 years together, and he TEXTS me to tell me he got engaged over the weekend.”  Seriously, getting engaged is something that perhaps warrants a phone call to the woman you lived with for almost 3 decades in my estimation.  Text messages have a place, but in this instance, it’s just dick-less to deliver that sort of news that way.
Once in a while getting big news via text isn't so bad though.  Like when the recipient bursts into tears reacting to happy news... this happened to me last year.  A very good friend of the Bachelor's and mine texted me from London about a week after he and I split.  She didn’t realize we’d broken up, so was just sharing the very happy news that she was getting married...

There I was, with my eyes streaming tears, my nose red and running, unable to catch my breath, but texting her back to congratulate her.  She thanked me for helping her navigate her long distance relationship because she'd asked my advice while I was in my three year looooong distance romance.. you know, the one that had just ended....

I was thrilled for her, honest, but a little pissed at God when she not only announced she’d become engaged over Christmas after dating long distance for just a year... The fact that her fiance proposed at the top of the Eiffel Tower at midnight on New Year’s Eve was a little rough to take….  Honestly, THE TOP OF THE EIFFEL TOWER?  NEW YEAR'S EVE?  That shit belongs in a movie....

Later...

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