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Monday, 1 August 2011

Mirror, mirror on the wall.......

So CG and I are heading into an interesting 6 weeks...

Tomorrow is the big day... he and his kids leave for Europe.  They're taking a cruise from Venice to Greece, via Croatia.  Sounds like a great trip for them, and I hope they have a fabulous time. He gets back two weeks from Wednesday, so about 15 days apart.  Then he's back for 8 days before I take off for Thailand for a couple of weeks for my own holiday.  I can tell already I will miss him while both vacations are on.

Neither of us has said "I love you" yet... the closest we've come is a text he sent on our two month-aversary... "I live you.  Was that supposed to be and "o" or a "k"?"...
So that's the new thing... we "live" each other... I'm guessing it's the twilight zone between the two feelings... I know I'm falling, but I have to say, having been kicked in the head a time or two, I'm trying to remain realistic yet optomistic about the prospect.  

 The original intent when I booked this trip was to go lick my wounds and try to get over my last heartbreak.  Clearly, that's no longer an issue, and I'm grateful for that.  Thanks very much to my friend the delightful Miss "L" who told me long before things blew up that I had fallen for someone who was never going to commit to me.  When I fall, I fall hard, and want to believe in the fairy tale.  Thing is, it's way more fun to be in "live" WITH someone than to be in LOVE at someone.  I guess the whole premise of my Asian vacation has now changed to going to see the sights. 

After watching The Hangover 2, I know there are sights to see outside Bangkok....and that's what I'm looking forward to most.  The movie didn't make the city itself look like somewhere spectacular, but I'll let you know when I get back, as they were trying to show the seedier side of things. 

I'm sure for some narrow minded men, a lot of the allure of vacationing in the city is the supposed "culture difference" that makes age a "non-issue"... This story has been handed to me by more than one aging lothario who doesn't appreciate the beauty in any woman over 40, and who will broadcast all the things that are wrong with a woman's aging body.  Sorry kids, but that's a load of shit... No matter where you are in the world.  True, there is a handful of men who are over 50 and still sexy to someone in their 20's, but as we've touched on before, if you're NOT George Cluny or Jon Bonjovi, you are deluding yourself. (If you ARE someone who's aged like they have, then go nuts...  ) 
How I know this, is I WAS once a 20 year old who was hit on by the over 45 guys, and I had a zillion girlfriends from all over the world who had the same things happen to them....Whether you like it or not, your ear hair and pot belly are no more appealing in Thailand, Romania, Egypt, Brazil, France or Italy.  Keep in mind, my perspective is that of a woman who, in the eyes of many men, is PAST HER PRIME... that's your disclaimer here....

When these guys have told me about their good fortune with foreign women, I notice the women are generally impoverished, and the men turn into benevolent benefactors....That should be their first clue that it isn't their man boobs the girls find sexy... period... These guys are being taken advantage of just the same as they're taking advantage of the women they are squiring.

I find it funny talking to women in their 20's who look at Brad Pitt as though he's some old man.... and if that can even happen to him, a GOD among men, then... use... your... head.

I don't mean to generalize.  There are relationships that work out because they're based on mutual respect no matter whether it's the man or woman who is 15 - 20 years older... I know a few men who have entered into marriages with women in several foreign countries.  They've chosen to adopt the culture and embrace life there, entering into a committed relationship. 

To the men who travel looking to get laid to make themselves feel more virile, and who then marginalize women in any way, I find that hard to respect.  Do whatever it is that blows your hair back.  Seriously.  But why does the age of the woman in question come into the conversation at all? 

I'm sure I will have some interesting stories to share once I'm back.... but until then, I'm going to try to pass the next two weeks hanging with the girlfriends I haven't seen much since CG and I started hanging out together... and when he's back...I will then have a week with a man who looks at me, in my almost 50 year old body, with desire in his eyes... he doesn't focus on my jowls or my muffin top... he finds ME sexy, and recognizes he is of the same vintage.... he is an amazing father and a nurturing partner to have, while remaining 100% male, and that I find incredibly sexy... but I'm 49, and not 23....

I am absolutely going to keep my girlfriends close, because even IN a fantastically fun relationship, it's VERY important to keep your perspective... and girlfriends help with that.

Later....

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